A Christmas Wish for Autism Parents

May your child ask for things that can actually be bought,
And not wish for items that can no  longer be got.

Let your Internet searches and postings online,
Lead to you finding that precious item in time.

May the holiday dress clothes, so stiff and so new,
Actually get worn before it's outgrew.

May your child actually sleep on Christmas Eve night,
Or at least stay in their bed while Santa's in sight.

Let friends and family remember and care,
How challenging it can be at this time of year.

When schedules are lost,  and there's no rhyme or reason,
Our kids get overwhelmed with the holiday season.

As excitement it mounts, their stress it can too,
Keeping them calm may be all you can do.

May others make efforts to help your child succeed, 
By avoiding their triggers, that's what you need.

Let you have the strength and the courage to say,
How they can be of help to you on that day.

May you still be invited to places you seldom can get,
Because people still think of you, and haven't given up on you yet.

And when you miss out on those  parties and feel so alone, 
Be reminded of all that you have at home.

Your special family may not be like all others, 
But you too are special fathers and mothers.

May your Christmas be merry and New Year filled with joy,
And love and acceptance for your girl or boy.

iBelieve

The iPad.  Such a little word, such a little device.




Get it? A yellow apple?

  Well, this is definately a case of good things coming in small packages.

When all the buzz about the iPad and the wonders it does for people on the autism spectrum began,  most of what I heard and read was about the wonder of the doors it had unlocked for our non-verbal population.  Suddenly this small, portable device could replace cumbersome, expensive augmented communication devices.  Amazing.

Still, I didn't see at first how helpful it could be for my own child with Asperger's.  Then I started googling.  And reading. And watching YouTube videos of it in use.  Of course some of the best reviews I read came from other autism-moms who were blogging about the difference it was making in their homes.  I was intrigued.

My own boy has been blessed enough to have an iPad.  He's had it now for a few months.  None of my research had prepared me for the magic that has happened. 

My dream is that someday the world itself will be as accessible as the iPad.

It would be impossible for me to list, or even probably recognize all of the things the iPad has done for us, but I will attempt to give a little overview, just in case there is a reader out there somewhere who is wondering if this is something you need.  (My guess is that it is.)

Touch, swipe, pinch.  If you had a child with fine motor issues, or motor-planning issues, say goodbye to the mouse.  If you can reach it you can do it.  The playing field has been leveled, game on.  Now your child can enjoy playing games without that level of frustration standing in his way. 

The bag of tricks just shrank.  The iPad is best known for its apps.  Apps are awesome, and there are about 10 gazillion and counting designed for autism.  This tiny little device is currently housing Social Stories, visual schedules, a Time Timer, a 5 point scale, Model Me Going Places....and more.  Way, way more.  Seriously.

Educational activities.  This is a homeschool dream come true!  Sight words, ebooks, mathematical games and drills, all manners of skill builders are available.  If they are not free, they are generally pretty cheap.  Aiden enjoys almost any subject more when the iPad is involved, particularily with math.  From interactive number lines, to Google earth, there seems to be no end to the ways the iPad makes learning fun, and engaging, and almost everything becomes hands on with this thing.

Entertainment and Independance.  Imagine that your child can now take control of their leisure time!  No more asking someone else to turn on something, or set something up for them, everything is easy to do.  If you spend a lot of time in waiting rooms for a gazillion appointments, as our kids tend to do, then your wait time just got a lot easier.  Even if you go the wi fi route, many games do not need internet connection, so they are portable!

We need to get the iPad into the hands of every child on the autism spectrum, or into the hands of any child who has challenges that would benefit from it.  This is the future of accessibility, and it is affordable.

Christmas is a time when many people seek out opportunities to do good work.  Many charities benefit from the benevolance of others at this time.  I have a suggestion.  Maybe you could take up a collection at your place of work, and raise enough money to purchase an iPad or two.  Contact a local autism group in your community, a simple google search can help you here, and maybe they can pass your gift on to a deserving child. 

It's more than a simple present to be opened, it's the opening up of a child's world.

I believe the possibilities are boundless.

School Schmool

Was shopping with Aiden today, saw this bear and cracked up!

I started this blog, initially, partly as a way to keep record of the one year I planned on homeschooling.  I have come to learn that many people enter homeschooling as some sort of temporary arrangement, but quickly fall into its charm and many merits.  I no longer preface my homeschooling choice with a disclaimer of its intended duration.  I no longer feel the need to seperate myself from whom I had imagined most homeschooling moms to be. (Sorry ladies....) 

I am more comfortable in our choice, mainly because I have been blessed enough to have access to a local support group, filled with lovely women, and their beautiful children.  Finding others who share your normal makes all the difference.  A few months ago, I started arranging monthly meetings for those of us within the group who are homeschooling children with special needs.  This has been a great source of encouragement and support to me, like I have learned so often since Aiden's diagnosis, none of us are alone in our challenges.  For some reason, that is one lesson I keep on learning.

Knowing that this is the right educational choice for us doesn't mean it's an easy one.  There have been days that have been just plain tortorous.  Seriously, painful.  But there have also been many, many days that have been highly successful.  Sometimes I look through all of the work we have accomplished, and I can't help but feel proud.  Today Aiden started work on a "Cleaning up on Grade One" booklet I made him, with relish he dipped into his janitorial themed math problems.  Where else could he recieve such individualized, motivational materials?  He carefully drew and recorded the changes in his caterpillars, anxiously awaiting the formation of a chrysalis... engaged, excited learning.  In a regular classroom, he would be too distracted and distressed to benefit from such a science project.

I've had a paradigm shift with my attitude towards homeschooling.  Initially it was begun out of necessity, and our sheer terror of facing the public school system.  Now, I see its discovery as yet one more gift discovered by our family since we started calling Aiden's autism by name.

Meltdowns vs. Tantrums

Just to clarify things, in my opinion, a meltdown and a tantrum are two different beasts. In all fairness, both are really hard to deal with, cause great embarrassment when brandished in public and make you question your decision to have become a parent in the first place! Although, if you're new to being humiliated publicly, you may find comfort in the knowledge that you do actually get used to it, and it is possible to reach that place where you no longer care what other people think! Honest.

Now, I don't want to give the impression that Aiden is constantly having public meltdowns, because he's not. BUT, when they happen, they're doozies! Like, awful. But, that's all in a day's work.

Back to my distinctions...and this is all opinion here folks, but I do believe I am right nonetheless. A tantrum, which can be thrown by any manner of child, old, young, typical, atypical..whatever....is usually a plea to get their own way. It is an attempt to outlast you,shame you, overcome you, possibly scare you...all with the ultimate goal of getting their own way. If their tantrum works...you're in big trouble, because they'll come faster, and more furiously in the future!

A meltdown however is when the child has actually lost all ability to handle their emotions. Whatever it is that is bugging them is now center stage in their life, and they just need to break free. Meltdowns can happen when they're overtired, overstimulated, overstressed, of over-anythinged. ( I think I just invented a word.) Aiden typically melts down when he has an idea that he can't materialize. For example, he has an image of a craft he'd like to make, but without Martha Stewart on site, it is just way beyond the realm of possible. Well, look out! There's no soothing possible, no nothing. The only thing I find that works is to take away whatever is agitating him, often by way of pulling from his abnormally strong grasp. BUT, when whatever has him overwhelmed is gone, instead of being angry, as he would be with a tantrum, he is almost RELIEVED to be freed from the stress.

Now, that's a meltdown.

And it's exhausting.

And it's a big part of autism.