Remember me? I like good music, Canadian literature, scrapbooking, folklore, old graveyards, sitcoms that came on after 10 p.m., going out for coffee, shopping without a direct purpose (and not just at Walmart or the grocery store), chatting on the phone.....
This is a partial list of things I used to enjoy, ways I used to define myself. And they're all mostly past memories. I know being a mom means becomming selfless, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'll ever have time or opportunities to indulge my old interests again.
And now is the part where I make sure to qualify that none of those things hold a candle to being "Mommy" to my sweet little ones...but still...there's a twinge...a small hint of the me that used to be.
I see a lot of people who appear to do a better balancing act between Mom and Person than I do. They can still maintain social lives, make time for themselves....all in all, they are still themselves. I am sure that their approach to parenting is much healthier than mine! But then again, parenting a child with special needs makes balance an awful lot harder to achieve.
I know there's lots of merit to the "Be sure to make time for yourself" way of thinking...but usually when I hear that, it just sounds like one more thing to worry about. Let's face it, when you have a child who often doesn't sleep, and an active toddler to boot, you're just plain wiped out. So time for myself involves getting to run to Walmart ALONE on a Saturday while hubby is home, catching a t.v. show while folding clothes, or, thankfully, yes thankfully, reading a book while the kids are eating their breakfast, or playing around me!
I'm sure all moms feel this way from time to time...just a little lost in the shuffle. And these just may be the busy, hectic days of having small children that I'll pine for in years to come.... because I'm sure I'll never be as loved, adored or needed as I am right now. My babies are young enough to view me with stars in their eyes....in a few short years, no doubt, I'll be more gatekeeper, rule maker, fun-spoiler....
And I'll be asking them to remember me just as I am now....
Friday, April 2, 2010
To anyone and everyone who refrains from passing judgement, who teaches their children the beautiful value of acceptance, who see the world in a myriad of colours, and like it that way, thank you.
To all the teachers who truly love children, who work hard to make schools user-friendly, respectful environments, thank you.
To extended families and friends who are loving and welcoming, who give warnings before turning on their vacuum cleaners, who don't get insulted if we can't make it, but continue to invite, or keep a stock of straws in their cupboards, thank you.
To all the siblings who become little ambassadors, who learn to speak up from an early age, to protect, to defend,who learn tht life isn't always fair, and have to sacrifice more than they should, and who often grow up to be the world's most caring, loving individuals, thank you.
And to all the moms and dads who speak for their children, who work to improve or extend services, who make places for their children in this world, who get up and go each day, even on the hard ones, you work not just for your children, but for mine too. So, thank you.