Monday, January 24, 2011

All is Quiet

the house is quiet, the hum of fans
sleeping lightly, dreaming brightly
eyes dance beneath their lowered lids

and these walls hold the sounds of the day
that passed
the rules that were followed, the steps we danced
resound throughout the rooms

but from the outside, in dim light stands
a house like all the others on the street

                    where inside lay children asleep.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Don't Pick Up

I recieved a phone call the other day that sort of shook me up a little.  It was late in the morning, we were not long finished our homeschool, generally, going about our day.  Usually I do the whole caller ID thing before answering, but I wasn`t quite expecting the usual telemarketers until I was just about to put supper on the table, or up to my elbows with the kids in the tub...but I digress.  On the phone, a chirpy woman asked for me by name, and then informed me that she was contacting women within my age group for special female cancers insurance. 


Not exactly the reminder of your ageing that you want to hear.  And it struck me... I can`t get sick.  I have way too much that I am responsible for right where I am, thank you very much.  And then it struck me even harder...what if I did get sick..... gulp again.

I cannot imagine anything scarier for a  mom then the thoughts of her children being without her.  Oh wait, yes I can, add special needs to the equation.  I am not just a mom, I am an interpreter of the world, a safe person, an advocate, and above all else, deeply committed, and madly in love!

Double gulp.

I quickly got off the phone, and I admit, while not overtly rude, I was curt and obviously annoyed.  There is something about being an autism parent that makes you grow increasingly disguisted with people who prey on the fears of others.

It`s a good thing I have my New Year Resolutions still posted up around the house.  I, for one, am practising living in the present.  Because honestly, these days, that is about all I can handle.

Next time, I think I will just let it ring.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Here Kitty Kitty

Aiden cam
Okay, explain this to me.  We have had our cat Finnegan for 3 1/2 years.  He is a lovely cat, the sort that kind of likes to be close, but doesn't hop up in your lap.  He's more of a be - in - the - same - room  -with - you cat, less of a having - his - big - furry - bum - stuck - up - in - your - face kind of cat.  Perfect.  (or rather, purrrrfect.)

Now, my little man was only 2 when we got Finnegan, so, now at six, it's possible that he can't really remember a time without puss.  So, back to my question.  Up until about 2 months ago, he offered dear little Finnegan absolutely no signs of friendship or kinship.  It was as if they lived in mutual indifference.  Other than the fact that he would list him as a family member, or count him amongst the people that he loved, I would have thought that the cat could have simply vanished, and he migh not even have noticed.  But not now.  Nope.  He has now decided that  not only will  he acknowledge the cat, and try to engage him in play, but he has  also decided that he adores the cat.  He gets up out of bed in the morning, and immediately searches out his feline companion.  He has taken to feeding the cat, giving him drinks of water.  Images of Finnegan are replacing some of his drawings of transport trucks....high praise indeed.

Why I don`t know.

As for the cat, he is accepting his new found attention with trepidation.  But surprisingly, with a huge threshold of patience.   From time to time he stares at me, his big oval eyes pleading for me to rescue him. But for the most part, he takes it all on the chin.

It`s nice that he has a new interest, and I really appreciate his gentle manner towards the little creature, taking on responibility for him is also wonderful.  I guess these are the reasons most people get pets in the first place. 

I just can`t help but wonder where the sudden interest came from. 

Another little mystery to add to the pile... but a nice one.  I really do hope that his little interest persists, pets can be such a comfort.  They demand so little, they have no notions of social expectations.  They just love you for whatever you`ve got to offer them.  Whether it be a pat on the head, or a bowl full of kibble.

Thanks Finnegan, you're a real pal.

Aiden cam again
Putting the "pet" in Pillow Pet

Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Year, New Attitude

Dear 2011,
Welcome.  I hope that we get to be really, really good friends.  I hope that when we look back on our time together, that our yearbook brims with pictures of smiling faces and joyful memories.

Happy New Year one and all!  As we turn over a new leaf, and start a new year fresh and new, I've made different kinds of resolutions this year, not so much about lifestyle as about outlook and attitude.

So here is the list of goals I am setting for myself in 2011:
1. Recognize my child's strengths and build on those.  Just because our world works on a deficit model doesn't mean that I have to.
2. Accept my child's unique way in the world, help him to get the skills he needs and appreciate his many gifts. 
3. Forgive myself.  I will try really hard not to come down too hard on myself when I hit a brick wall, I will honestly try to appreciate my own hard work.
4. Stay in the present.  Stop looking (and worrying) so far ahead.  Deal with today, appreciate today. 

There you have it,  my goals for a happy, healthy year.  I'll keep you posted.