Dinosaurs are boring. There. I said it. And for that matter, so is anything to do with Outer Space. And you know what else? I hated the movie Titanic.
It's okay if we don't all like the same things, keep the same interests, wear the same clothes, watch the same t.v. shows. How boring the world would be if everyone thought the same thoughts, wished the same wishes, had the same favourites, dreamed the same dreams.
I remember when A. was first diagnosed, how I held it as a real goal to expand his areas of interest. I was so concerned that my little boy, freshly turned 3, was only really interested in trucks. Looking back, it would have been a good thing if someone had taken me aside and told me to smarten up. But, I was confused, overwhelmed, and perhaps overly concerned. Unfortunately, the early intervention team did nothing to console me, they actually thought this was a legitimate goal. "Dinosaurs" became one of his "programs" and time was actually scheduled each day for him to play dinosaurs. Off I trotted to the store and bought every variety of toy dinosaur there was. Of course, once Aiden learned all of their names, he quickly lost interest.
Two years later, and two years wiser, I can clearly see what a pathetic goal this was. I have, instead, watched as he naturally developed new interests, simply by being exposed to different subjects, and the world in general.
And now, I wonder, so what if he never had developed new interests? What would have been so catastrophic about a little boy loving trucks more than any other toy in the world? Nothing. Not a thing.
It's okay if dinosaurs are boring. It's okay if your child, on or off the spectrum doesn't like the newest craze, or the topic that is deemed "typical" for their age group and gender. Who cares?! Be wary of goals that are set by others as important for your child... Let's lose the goal of having our kids blend in. Instead, let's focus on developing our whole child, and appreciating their areas of interests...letting them be windows into engaging play, meaningful conversation, and use their interests to help them develop and learn other things.
And while I'm fessing up...I might as well admit to this too. I don't watch any of the medical drama series on t.v. Not the one.
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Love this post!! My 3 year old is all about trains, but has started branching out a little. If I would have just held him where he was then I would have never experienced what I did the other day. He and a 2 year old little boy I was watching at the time played TOGETHER on the swing set. I was in tears because I was so proud.
ReplyDeleteHear Hear!!! I couldn't agree more! I too let go of this warped concern with broader interests. That's a neurotypical concern, and my son's not neurotypical, so why should he be expected to share their perspectives? Imagine little Bill Gates, forced to play dinosaurs instead of computers! Our kids are made this way with their own unique purposes, they don't need to be reprogrammed to have new manufactured ones.
ReplyDeleteCaitlin
www.welcome-to-normal.com
good points.
ReplyDeletemy son used to love matchbox cars, now its star wars
I love this post! Right on, and how true. I really detest those that want my son to conform. I have found that if we build and expand on "his" interests then we are able to accomplish so much more. To see his eyes light up and watch that connection with someone when they show an interest in something he likes...well it is just amazing. I live for those amazing moments, watching people be blown away at how passionate and educated my son is about things he likes.
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