Sunday, August 16, 2009


I don't get out much. No joking, I just don't get out much. Every time I'm invited somewhere, I have to go through a list of possible scenarios, and factors which will have to be negotiated, and decide whether or not it's worth the risk. Or if I'm just setting him up for failure. This is what is called by some as "stepping on eggshells". I call it being proactive.

Will there be too many people? Will it be too loud? Will a source of anxiety be present? Will I be able to handle the two of them on my own? Will I be able to peel him away when the time comes to go home? Did something happen here the last time that he'll expect to happen again?

The list goes on. Now, that's not to say that we stay home all the time. I often take a deep breath, say an abundance of prayers, and go anyway. I really try to get Aiden out out out, so that life will just get easier. We eat out once a week, and can now get through an entire meal!!! (Yay!) BUT, I go at off times to restaurants, so they're not too crowded. And, you will never, never, never find me at McDonald's playroom. (whole OTHER story) We survive birthday parties, skating, swimming, soccer, music classes, shopping trips, playgrounds, etc, etc. But it takes a lot out of me.

But, there's lots I don't get to go to. If you're one of my friends from Outer Cove, you'll notice I missed the Folk Festival today. Not doable. Way too loud, and if it weren't, he'd want to be in the playground the whole time, so I'd either have to hang out there away from the crowd all day, or have him crying to be at the playground part. No fun. I also had to miss my special cousin's birthday supper tonight. Hubby was working, so would have had to take kiddies, very close to bedtime, and kind of restaurant where it takes a while to get served, also too peak a time, and too many people at our table. Would have been bad too.

I've gotten used to missing out on things, but sometimes I really wish I could go. I also fear that people will stop inviting me places, because I can never go. I also worry that I hurt people's feelings with my "no shows" sometimes. What I really hate, is when people try to convince me that I should go anyway. I don't do that anymore, if I know something is going to end terribly, then I avoid it. I need Aiden to experience social success, and I refuse to set him up to fail because I don't want to miss out.

So, if I blew off an event you invited me too, I'm sorry. And maybe I'll see you at next year's Festival..maybe.

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