Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Paint Me a Picture

Sometimes I think that if I just knew what the future would look like for Aiden, I"d feel better. It's just that all this guess work, and trying to forecast issues that may or may not arise is exhausting. I could handle all of these young years better maybe if I knew that everything was just going to be okay.

That's the thing about the autism spectrum, it's a spectrum. No 2 kids are alike. And while it is interesting, and maybe partially informative to hear how so-and-so's kid is making out, it doesn't tell me how my child will make out. It's all up in the air, and I find that really hard to handle. I am the type who needs to know what has to be done, so I can get to work and do it. This uncertainty is painful to me. I want to be able to make the best decisions for him NOW. It's all this waiting and seeing.

Aiden can change so much from week to week, and month to month, I can't get a clear picture! Some days I don't think people would believe me if I told them he has autism. Other days, it is very, very obvious.

I would love so much for someone to paint me a picture of his future. I'd love to see a picture of a young man, who's used his smarts to their best ability and has a solid career. I'd like to see him with friends, places to go, things to do.

But most of all, I'd love someone to paint me a picture of a man who is happy.

And loved.

...maybe that's one way I'm like every other parent out there.

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