I wasn't going to do this...

Oh well, it is what it is.  That's what hubby and I always say to each other after some long conversation, "it is what it is." 
Tomorrow Aiden should be heading off to school.   He should have a whole backpack with matching lunch box laid out by the door tonight.  But there's no backpack.  Because the little boy I thought I had 4 and a half years ago, isn't really that boy at all.  And sometimes I miss him.
I am trying to focus on the relief I feel that I don't have to face school this year.  I am trying to focus on the fact that he is still doing Kindergarten.  And the fact that he is so excited about his little classroom, and how he'd much rather stay  at home.
But, he doesn't realize that all the other kids he was babies with are going.  But I do, and, this is the first real difference his disability has afforded him.
And I can't help it, but it's killing me.
And, I wasn't going to write this.  But for those of you who know parents with special kids, these are the "special" moments that we have to face.  Special isn't always fun.  But, it is what it is.