School Schmool

Was shopping with Aiden today, saw this bear and cracked up!

I started this blog, initially, partly as a way to keep record of the one year I planned on homeschooling.  I have come to learn that many people enter homeschooling as some sort of temporary arrangement, but quickly fall into its charm and many merits.  I no longer preface my homeschooling choice with a disclaimer of its intended duration.  I no longer feel the need to seperate myself from whom I had imagined most homeschooling moms to be. (Sorry ladies....) 

I am more comfortable in our choice, mainly because I have been blessed enough to have access to a local support group, filled with lovely women, and their beautiful children.  Finding others who share your normal makes all the difference.  A few months ago, I started arranging monthly meetings for those of us within the group who are homeschooling children with special needs.  This has been a great source of encouragement and support to me, like I have learned so often since Aiden's diagnosis, none of us are alone in our challenges.  For some reason, that is one lesson I keep on learning.

Knowing that this is the right educational choice for us doesn't mean it's an easy one.  There have been days that have been just plain tortorous.  Seriously, painful.  But there have also been many, many days that have been highly successful.  Sometimes I look through all of the work we have accomplished, and I can't help but feel proud.  Today Aiden started work on a "Cleaning up on Grade One" booklet I made him, with relish he dipped into his janitorial themed math problems.  Where else could he recieve such individualized, motivational materials?  He carefully drew and recorded the changes in his caterpillars, anxiously awaiting the formation of a chrysalis... engaged, excited learning.  In a regular classroom, he would be too distracted and distressed to benefit from such a science project.

I've had a paradigm shift with my attitude towards homeschooling.  Initially it was begun out of necessity, and our sheer terror of facing the public school system.  Now, I see its discovery as yet one more gift discovered by our family since we started calling Aiden's autism by name.

And now they want to bake cookies...

Ever have one of those days you thought would never end?  When bedtime seems like a far distant shore?  I had one of those days today.  In fact I'm still having it.  Go. Go. Go. 

-Could you get me a....
-I wanna...
-Mommy he's....
-Mommy she's...

One and a half hours .until bed.
Nothing but cleaning the kitchen, bath and bed standing between me and five minutes peace.

And now they want to bake cookies.

Shine!

Our little artist participated in our second annual homeschool Creativity Fair last night.   We sorted through the reams of paper containing his artwork, and chose some of his favourites for his display board.

I just love this event. Because our children are homeschooled, they don't always get opportunities to share their school work, their big projects, unit studies or artistic endeavors with a large group.  And let's be honest, many kids are exhibitionists at heart.  Another component of this even is a contest for an art project and creative writing.  Last year Aiden won in his age category for his drawing of a track crane, and this year he won first prize for his drawing of "Daddy's Guitars" and also an honourable mention for his poem, "Ducks."

I cannot express in words (although admittedly I am trying) how beyond proud we are of him. This is truly his opportunity to let his little light shine.  So often his abilities can go unseen in the blur or his energy and perpetual motion, but his art stands still for all to see.

Sure his display depicted many things not typically drawn by six year olds, but who needs typical..give me his drawings of bathroom carts, buckets on wheels, stand up dustpans, and chairs any day!

So allow me this.  My pride.  And probably way more pictures than necessary.

Rubbermaid!

Aiden and Margaret

This World is Small

Back in March, in the post You Can't Make This Up,  I let you all in on Aiden's desire to own his very own Rubbermaid cleaning cart.  Well, we managed to convince him that that was indeed too big for the Easter Bunny's basket.  His hopes are now firmly in the hands of dear old Santa Claus.  As I suspected, this new area of interest has not wavered in the least.

In the meantime, Aiden often watches videos about Rubbermaid commercial products on YouTube. (Yes, these exist.)   His favourite so far is one that he calls "the Next Generation of Cleaning Carts"  They also have videos that show how the carts are assembled, how different features work, etc.  The other day he was watching these videos with his daddy, when they came across a video called William gets a Cleaning Cart.  They didn't make this up either! 

As impossible as it is to believe, there is in fact another little boy out there in this world who also asked for a cleaning cart for Chrismas.  The world is indeed a small, small place.  To watch the boy marvelling over the vinyl replacement bag, and front and back casters, well, it could be my boy!    This video has been watched many, many times now at our house.  I think Aiden is delighted to see that Santa can, in fact bring such an item to a child.  but he has also become seriously concerned because this boyo's cart was not equipped with all of the accessories, such as spray cleaners, mop, broom, and more specically, his came without the bucket on wheels and ringer attachment.  Aiden is quite adament that he wants a cart that is already, and I quote, "Rigged Up!"

While Aiden doesn' t seem to mind that his friends are not interested in janitorial supplies, I cannot even begin to imagine how much fun he would have with this little boy who is. 

Keep on cleaning boys!

Help Me To Remember This Too

Last fall I wrote a post, Help Me To Remember.  I wrote it during a very, very difficult and trying period.  Upon rereading this post I am immediately taken back to the stress of that time, although it was just short months ago, it feels like an eternity ago  We were having a rough go, we had just moved house, which was humongously stressful to our little man.

But now, some months later, we are, in a word, settled.  We are floating on the tranquil ocean of routine.  We great each day knowing what to expect, what`s to come.  Home is a peaceful, enjoyable place to be.

Our boy surrounds himself with his art.  He skips in and out from the backyard, freshly revealed since the winter snow.  He loses himself in his interests,  his little sister is quickly growing into a cherished playmate, he has discovered the computer... and even more amazingly, the cat has decided that he loves him back!   

Our boy is joyful. Our boy is joy. So often these days his sweet little face beams, his whole body jolts with excitement.  We look at him and just know we are doing right.    His differences feel more like a source of joy and pride than a source of stress.

And I need to remember this too.  This feeling that all is right with the world.  This feeling of truly enjoying our days.  Help me to remember each sweet day, each broad smile, every day that things just feel good.  Because these are the days that will carry us through the harder times.  These days are the ultimate goal for us...a happy boy and the unmistakeable feeling that we are serving him well. 

Going Up

If I had to use an analogy for parenting a child with autism, I'd compare it to a creaky staircase.

Chances are, if you've got a creaky staircase, along with the creaks, your staircase has some beautiful features, intricate woodwork, tonnes of character...in short, it's well worth a few squeaky treads.

Over time, with a little practice you learn to sidestep some of the louder squeaks in your travels, with experience, this doesn't even seem like work, you catch yourseld deftly dancing upwards, a little to the left or a little to the right with hardly a thought.  There's even been a few times you found yourself stumbling, but luckily you have that lovely railing to lend you support.

You even decide that a lot of repairs aren't all that necessary.  There's something rather fetching about some of these little creaks and groans, they've grown on you, it's become impossible to seperate them from the beauty of that stiarcase.  You no longer want to.  They are your stairs after all.

You probably have friends who bought houses about the same time as you.  Some of these homes have sleek modern staircases.  Upon visiting them you often marvel at their efficiency, and how easily you can make your way up and down.  But you can't help but feel that they're missing something, perhaps a little too mainstream for your taste.

The great thing about your staircase is that its charm has become as much a part of your travels as the journey itself.  A journey that always gets you where you need to go, even with a few obstacles along the way, a journey that has somehow taught you how to dance... and a journey that is always going up.

Lost

On Saturday, my little family released colourful baloons.

That night, we let a blue light shine over our door.

I posted relevant links of facebook, and changed my profile pic to the World Autism Awareness Day symbol.

But none of these actions helped to stop a small 3 year old boy in Quebec, with autism, from wandering off.  Or help people know how to find a child who cannot cry for help.

The ground search has just been called off for sweet little Adam.

And my heart screams.... for another little boy lost. 

Despite the passage of time, let's all continue a vigil of hope, and pray for the miracle of his safety.

World Autism Awareness Day 2011

Today marks World Autism Awareness Day.  Last year I marked the day with thanks,  today I will mark the day with a wishlist....

It's my wish that a day will come that the effect autism has on families is recognized by those who are in positions to adopt policies for change.

That someday when a child decides to throw a meltdown in public, that others will be more compassionate, maybe even helpful.

That families feel that they have valid options for intervention.

That waitlists for vital services dissapear.

That autism families will stop becomming the target of a huge marketing machine.

That the telltale signs of autism will be known by all...

That when a new family gets a diagnosis, the fear is less and the hope is more.

Thick skins for all.

Community.

That people will notice our blue lightbulbs, colorful balloons and puzzle piece ribbons today, and take time to ask what they mean.

And lastly an abundance of blessings, love, support and tolerance for my little boy, and all the other children on the autism spectrum.  That you all continue to shine, and amaze us with your beautiful, unique way in this world.

You Can't Make This Up

It's all Toy Story 3, all the time at our house these days.  Santa was kind enough to brng Aiden the DVD, but even more treasured is the Toy Story 3 game for his DSi.  Now that's a hit.  What's interesting is how he plays the game.  While he does play through the game in the intended way from time to time, what he really loves is exploring the minor details of Andy's house.... and recreating them in ours.

Need an example?  In Andy's kitchen, if you prowl around you'll see three pots in soak in the sink.  So, of course, I often find three pots covered in suds in my sink too.  The Woody character jumps on lever door handles to open doors in the game.  We don't have those kinds of door handles at our house, so Aiden has been kind enough to cut some out and tape them to our boring, standard issue door knobs.  In the garage at Andy's house some tools are hanging on a peg board.  We now have the exact same arrangement on hubby's peg board.  Are you starting to get the picture?

It's all in the details for Aiden.  It's what makes him such a fantastic little artist, easily mastering the art of three dimensional drawing.  It's what he enjoys, and although his preoccupation with detailed      re-creation can be frustrating at times, particularitly when your furniture is constanly being rearranged whenever you leave a room, we know that it is  exactly this focus and fine-tuned thoroughness that will lead to his success in the future.  If he is blessed enough to work or study in an area of great interest, his results will be boundless.  He'll never tire of small details, his brain is hard-wired for acting as a fine tooth comb.

But from day to day, while he is so young, his exhaustion of an interest can be challenging.  And this is the part I could never make up.  There's a scene in Toy Story 3 where Woody is in a bathroom, and a janitor enters with one of those big housekeeping carts to clean the bathroom.  Well, guess what.  Aiden's gymnastics centre has a similar cart, and his interest and enthusiasm for it now makes it difficult to keep him in the gym.  He's been talking about playing with the cart all weekend. 

But wait, it gets better.  He has realized that you can purchase these carts, and that is what he's asking the Easter Bunny to bring him for Easter.  When we explained to him that those carts were very expensive, and not really necessary for use in a home, the tears started.  And the pleading, and the repeated questioning as to the Easter Bunny's intentions.  The acquisition of a Rubbermaid Housekeeping Cart is now goal number one in his mind.  And once he gets something in his head....

The chances that he'll have forgotten about this before Easter? Pretty well slim to none.  So, what do you do?  What would you do?  I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I think we're oscillating between sending an early letter from the Easter Bunny explaining the unlikelihood of him bringing such a large gift, (he doesn't have a sleigh like Santa after all, just a small little basket) or....shelling out $300.

We'll see.  It's like I said, you can't make this up. 

Open to Change

After Christmas, I felt like we had run into a wall with homeschool.  Aiden was pretty tired of it, and getting harder and harder to focus.  Over Christmas we had contintued on with schoolwork, I was weary of giving him a big break, afraid it would be too hard to reel him back in.

It has become apparant to me lately that the constant quest for keeping predictability and sructure in our house can render me the inflexible one.  I worry about doing things differently, because I am always aware that virtually everything I do is setting a new precedent.  Everything. 

So, it was by accident that I solved our little slump.  Aiden had been going through one of his many, many poor sleep periods.  Rather than skipping the work I had slotted for the day, I decided to break it up into little manageable chunks.  We did math, then I let him go play.  About an hour later I called him back for language arts and journal writing, and so the day went.  The next day, he asked me if he could do school the way he did it yesterday.  He explained that he liked doing little bits at a time. 

Wow.  The fact that he was able to tell me what worked best for him is a big skill.  So, that is how we have been preparing our school days ever since, and his focus in waaaaaaaay better. I really prefer laying out all of our work and getting it done, then closing the book on school for the day.  This new way tends to make homeschool spread across the entire day, which I find a little more stressful.  But, he does not.  And that is the main thing.

I guess we are learning together what works best for us.  It is still early days I guess, and our methods are sure to change as we go along.

And change....it can be good.